(The first joke was sent to me by my friend Joy a few days ago.)
Daddy, how was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born ?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You have male!
Here’s another one for you:
The Carburetor
"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburetor."
"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what a carburetor is."
"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburetor."
"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"
"In the swimming pool."
Let’s keep going:
Almost Perfect Life
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.
The old man says, "I'm a multimillionaire, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."
The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"
The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."
And finally:
Assassin Interview
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assassin position — two men and one woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."
The first man said. "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent replies, "Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife."
The agent replies "You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.
She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Have a good one!
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